The Lioness Hunting Her Lion

The Lioness Hunting Her Lion

The rush, the excitement, slow movements….

Her heart pounds, wanting him so bad…

The intensity, lowering down, hiding behind the grass..

Catching his eyes, losing all concentration…

Not letting him see the hunger in her eye’s…..

Every movement she stalks on him…

The branches crack, the stares intertwine…

The intensity, the passion…

Eye’s locking with deep stares….

She stands firm, not looking away, moving closer….

She loses consciousness, hearts beating faster….

So wild, her thoughts rage, her desires rise….

Wanting them filled with his exhale…she inhales…

Her soul fills with his, she breaths him in closer and closer…

Till they barely touch, feeling suffocated with lust…

Over whelming, excitement…

She tries to stand back, but wanting nothing but his touch…

Pacing around in circles, not daring to look away…

She waits, baring her soul, the lust, the passion…

Deep breathing…she loses all self-control…

The anticipation, he fills her with his breath…

One stride after the other towards the lioness….

She awaits desperately to have him near…

He pounces towards her fast, as he pins her down…

Caressing her face, rolling around…

The dust on the ground shadowing their innocence…

The intensity, her heart beating fast, tears flowing….

Dreams conquered, desires known…

She is totally lost in him, the world no longer exists…

Only two hearts beating…

She pounces, clawing him deep, holding him down…

The pressure against his heart, no escape from her love…

Holding him closer to her heart…

She roars to let him know that, she stands so proud…

So tall, so satisfied and strong, like a lioness hunting her lion.

A new chapter

Greetings E/everyone,

My name is Sarah and i am the newest member of the Solace of Submission blog team. I have been in the BDSM lifestyle on and off for about nine years. I began studying the different vines of BDSM at the age of eighteen, after hearing about them in a virtual environment. Upon first learning of the Gorean philosophies and different branches of BDSM, i was sixteen and i decided to wait until i was older to educate myself further about those paths, as i didn't want orange to become the only color that i could wear for the next few years.

When i was around nineteen, i met a person who was a kajira(a Gorean female slave) and she changed my life forever. She was a loving, intelligent and devoted woman and slave. Unfortunately the Master she loved treated her badly. After her death in 2008, i said i would never become a kajira; although that decision wasn't based solely on my friend's negative experiences, but also taking into consideration the brief ones that i had too.

 In January 2011, i met a man that i fell in love with and i set aside my differences with Gor to become one of His girls. Throughout our relationship, i let His constant lying and disrespect slide as i was so enthralled with Him. The breaking point came when He collared a girl without talking to the family first as promised.

After leaving Him, i did slip back into the vanilla world for a few days, as i was shattered. During my time in the land of where there are no submissives or Dominants, i realized that my desire to serve was growing stronger with each passing day, so i gave the Gorean lifestyle one last try.

Even-though Gor is not right for me, it did lead me back on the road which is correct for me: D/s. I intend to find a Master that is right for my Second Life and Real Life. Finding a Dominant that will accept my RL situation may prove to be more difficult, as i am extremely physically challenged.

They say what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and i certainly believe that. The trials during my journey has lead me to become a more humbled, optimistic, open and grateful person. You might have the questions "you're still optimistic after everything you have went through and still endure?" Yes, as i believe that i will achieve my dreams and that nothing is impossible. It is my hope that you will never give up on your aspirations, because we are all worthy of happiness.


Until next time,

Sarah

A Lesson in Discipline

The one thing I'm most certain about is that I'm a perfectionist.  My Master sees it (puts up with it would be a better way to describe it but then again he's a perfectionist as well - we can't escape it!), my boss sees it, and I constantly battle with it.  Battle is definitely the appropriate word.  Being wound so tight about things isn't necessarily the healthiest way to function because perfection is impossible, but at the same time falling back into trying to maintain such high standards is a comfort zone for me.  One might argue that this would fall back into my slightly neurotic need for copious amounts of structure but that's another topic entirely.  The issue I'm talking about today is what happens when I fail at something.  Failing by not meeting my standards, failing by making a mistake.  Not hitting that level or performance that I expect from myself.  It's such a hard thing for me to let go of when it happens and it can actually interfere with Master's responsibility to properly discipline me.  

The other day I had slipped up and agreed to do something without first running it by him.  Granted, he hadn't explicitly made that a rule for me but he's my Master and at this point in our relationship it should be a common sense type of thing.  On the other hand, it was an honest mistake - a case of getting too caught up in the moment.  However, I fell well below the expectations I have for myself and couldn't shake the feeling of being "not good enough."  After all, I had unintentionally taken control away from him, the exact opposite of anything I ever wanted.  And then that's all I can focus on.  I wasn't as good as I know I can be, as I expect myself to be.  

Then Master said something that finally got through to me.  In getting so upset with myself I took away his ability to discipline me as he saw fit.  Discipline is HIS responsibility, not mine.  I shouldn't fear slip-ups, because everyone makes them.  Being imperfect doesn't make him love me any less.  Making a mistake doesn't mean I'll lose my collar.  I trust in Master, and I know he'll handle the situation in a way that's best for both of us.  I'll be expected to learn from the experience, I'll be expected to accept the discipline I'm dealt and I'll be expected to move on and for my full attention to be focused on Master. Trying to meet the expectations he has set for me is where my attention belongs.

We Can Only Achieve If We Dare To Fail.

Life is full of challenges, that test or strength of will.With hopes and dreams and destinies, we struggle to fulfil.And every opportunity is always worth a try, If doubt should make us hestitate, the chance may pass us by.We all have limitations, but with courage on our side, everytime we do our best, We learn through having tried.

Mutual Respect (by Meadow Theas)

In all our marvelous diversity, what we have in common is power exchange relationships.

Power exchange can be expressed by any action.  The action that expresses the exchange of power is like the celery that carries the cream cheese.  It’s a vehicle, neutral in itself, charged only by the fact that one person commands and the other obeys.

And power exchange itself doesn’t get us a pervert label.  It’s part of the mainstream in intimate relationships.  Consider “traditional marriage.”  The difference, and the thing that gets us considered perverted, is the diversity of our expression and the fact that we choose it rather than allowing our culture to dictate it.  Kink is part of that controversial diversity.

Despite all this, we perpetuate our own oppression by carrying social stereotypes into our D/s.  Gender roles are a prime example.  There’s no reason why doing the dishes should be either a female or a submissive task . . . yet I observe a strong trend towards assuming that subs/slaves are female and that their submission is expressed in domestic service.  And I suspect that many of the problems Dommes and male subs face are based in vanilla gender expectations.

And we generate our own stereotypes and labels from within as well, thereby generating both misunderstanding and disrespect.  Examples are myriad, ranging from relationship assumptions to the nature and capabilities of people based on whether they’re Dominant or submissive.  I can’t tell you how discouraging it is to feel myself facing, as a submissive in my theoretically revolutionary community, a similar set of limiting stereotypes to what I face as a woman in the vanilla world.

So here we are, wanting community, sharing a deeply primal human experience, yet united primarily by our diversity.  How can we talk to each other, learn from each other, when each of our relationships has its own vocabulary?  Even the word “submission” is defined differently by different people, and each definition describes a valid experience.

I would argue that “education” is something to be approached with care.  It’s human to want validation and reassurance that we’re succeeding in the dynamic we’re creating.  However, creation is individual.  As Marge Piercy said about writing:

“The reason people want M.F.A.'s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else's mannerisms

is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall . . .”

In M/s and D/s, what classes can offer us is techniques and somebody else’s preferences.  

What we each bring to the table is ourselves.  Our own experience, our own priorities and choices, our thoughts on what is right for us.  Not for our neighbors.  And we can bring open ears for the lives of others.  I believe that if we could listen to each other’s lives without feeling a direct or implied pressure to be like them, if we could take what’s right for us while respectfully leaving the rest, if we could act towards each other based on understanding and acceptance of each other’s individual preferences, we could learn more and do less damage to ourselves and others.

To my mind, what power exchange relationships offer us is a chance to live one of the most demanding spiritual tenets I know of:  the Wiccan Rede.  “And it harm none, do as you will.”

Thanks for reading.

Meadow
Ryn’s kajira

A Silly Thing Called Structure

I've always said I enjoy having a routine. It's extremely difficult for me to willingly break from my morning routine during the week. The same can be said for my routines with Master. I'd feel quite lost without the structure they provide for me. Breaking it down, there are a few reasons I'm hopelessly addicted to routine. To me, structure equals safety. It's reliable. There's comfort in ritual. While other things are out of my control, while things around me change, there's solace in the repetitive motions I do for myself and for Master.

Master and I recently began to really work through some...communication struggles. The reason I bring this up is because it has all seem to come full circle. Master asked me to write this blog as a demi-punishment. We can call it a re-focus exercise. Our recent conversations have all unintentionally come back to structure. I truly didn't realize how much it meant to me until the other day.

Until recently, I didn't see how even how Master speaks gives me the structure I so apparently need. He could tell me when we're doing something, who's making the final decision etc. It's not exactly what he's telling me, it's how. This is a completely different take on structure than I'm used to; I usually equate structure to routines and rituals, habits and schedules. Those are still extremely important, valid and necessary. But the structure that Master's words bring almost feel like a missing piece. I get closure. There's no uncertainty. I know where the control lies. If Master expect me to make the final decision, I'm aware of it and not left trying to figure out why he didn't take the control I was offering.

Master knows I can be dense, stubborn or completely spaced out sometimes, however we hadn't quite tailored our communication to address that nor had we created a structure to work with my endearing shortcomings. No submissive or relationship is the same which is why control and structure will vary greatly between different relationships. There's a power in figuring out what works. It can be quite frustrating getting there and slightly terrifying, but reaching this goal of better communication that you didn't even know you had is absolutely worth every hair-pulling moment.

An essay on safety

Following a Fetlife profile link I found an interesting essay on "Slave Safety" that once was published in the yahoogroup theslaveboynetwork. It was written by a male gay sub from California with the nickname coyote. The text was written for the gay leatherscene, but i think a lot of the advice coyote composed is also useful for hetero male and female submissives. Here is an URL to a website where I found the essay published:
http://boybear.us/safety.htm