" The Balancing Act"

Recently we started a new support group at Solace of submission called Dom/me Nation. This had been a work in progress for several weeks now and we finally found a wonderful facilitator to head this project up in Master Ric Bechir. Master Ric was kind enough to offer his ale house on his Sos parcel as a meeting place.

Last Wednesday was our first meeting and I was thrilled with the results. It was attended by several Dominants whom I hold in high regard and respect. Master Merlin Swordthain, Miss Kaddan Yue, and Master Joss Mubble to name a few.

The most intruging thing to me was the fact that from the outside looking in, our households appear to be happy and effortless. Those of us who have households know that no household is on auto pilot and regardless of how healthy they seem, a lot of work is involved in keeping it that way. I am extremely proud of my girls, sarrah and alisha. They are wonderful women and have embraced their submissiveness while at the same time representing me honorably. The other Dominants in attendance are equally proud of their families.

So what was the common denominator at this discussion? It was the " Balancing Act" that we as Dominants struggle with on a daily basis. That is why I love this new discussion group. We all seem to have the same struggles, but because as Dominants we feel we should be "super heros" as it is not easy to talk about our challenges. How liberating it felt to finally open up to each other. It was amazing that after the initial "awkward" silence, once we got going on this topic it flowed like a river. As Dominants we instinctively take on challenges as that is what empowers us to be who we are daily, but what we all seem to do is take on more than we are prepared for. Being able to balance a household with respect to time, care, and growth goals for each submissive under our care leaves us feeling stretched out emotionally at times. We want to be everything for everyone at all times but this is not a realistic expectation. The gift we offer is the gift of our time and attention. With RL challenges in the mix it is easy to assume our submissives are on "auto pilot". The other factor is that submissives naturally tend to not burden us with issues if they sense we are overwhelmed. That is a wonderful quality for a sub mindset, but in fact keeping these burdens from us removes our power as the heads of the households. The decision as to what to do with burdens is OUR decision and our households must trust that the decisions we make will benefit the entire household.

In order to balance our time and energy it is necessary for us to withdraw into ourselves. Not because we want avoid the issues, but because is it natural for us to absorb, process, and decide. That may require having to spend extra time with a submissive who is needing specialized care to acheive his/her goals. Should the decision to spend extra time be of concern for siblings within the houshold? You would think that there is enough trust and respect built that our decision to spend extra time with a submissive in need would be understood. In most cases it is understood, but that does not mean that it is an easy pill to swallow. I asked a question the other day during a discussion to the subs/slaves in attendance...." Do you want to be the sub/slave within the household that needs your Dominant's constant attention with issues? Or do you want to be the one he/she comes to for peace and tranquility?" Looking at it through that standpoint gives peace when faced with feeling a lack of time is an issue.

Admittedly, we Dominants can have "tunnel vision" and there are times when we missed the signals being sent out. At least I know that is true in my case as I strive to hold myself accountable to my core values. Thankfully, I have learned from the Dom/me Nation support group is that I do not have to internalize my challenges. I can lay these burdens out to my fellow brothers and sisters in this community. We are also benefiting from the fact that as a group we can hold eachother accountable for decisions that have caused issues within households. That way we can learn to balance our lives in a healthy way and become better each day as we take this journey together.