The First Responsibility

Ok..i am about to make a statement that will automaticly raise the backhairs on most folks in the lifestyle. But before Y/you break out the tar and feathers, please bare with me and finish reading the whole blog. I think A/all will understand when i am finished explaining.
If you ask a submissive what their first obligation and responsibility is, they are likely to answer "to please my Dominant". Dominants given the same question will likely give the same response "To please me". Now for that awful statement.
The first responsibility and obligation for a submissive is to themself. Yes i am ducking now and hoping Y/you keep that promise and read on!

Before ever taking a collar and even after a collar, a submissive must be safe and sane. Your safety needs to come first. As does your abililty to connect to the right Dominant. Too many crazies call O/our lifestyle home and hide in it. Your first responsibility is always to make sure the Dominant you are talking to is a sane one. What good are you as a submissive to anyone if you are the bottom of a lake in a cement collar? Also take into consideration that when it comes to real life submission and letting a Dominant enter your real life, you are taking the safety of others in your hand. If you have children, friends, family near by all may be affected if you invite someone dangerous to your life. You owe it to yourself and these people first before allowing any Dominant to enter your world. Common sense of course. But funny how common sense is anything but common sometimes.

So safety is an obvious one. One that some may overlook at times but still pretty obvious. Now what about emotional obligation? Here is where things may seem to get a little grey. Of course it is the submissive's obligation and responsibility to bring happiness and joy to the Dominant. That is part of the promise of the gift to the Dominant when the collar is taken. But before you ever take that collar would it not be rather important to determine if you CAN please that Dominant?
Not everyone is going to be compatable. W/we are all different, have different needs, backgrounds, fears, fetish, and even dreams. If two people start out already going to two different directions, they are not likely to fix that a month or even ten years down the road. Remember, a submissive serves and pleases the Dominant but the Dominant also wants to lift the submissive to be a better person. To achieve goals and dreams. A little hard on the Dominant if the submissive has a dream the Dominant doesnt aprove of. Even harder if the submissive has a desire that is repulsive to the Dominant.
So! What good is it to submit yourself to a relationship that is going to fail? As a submissive you owe yourself the first obligation of taking the time it takes to make sure you are compatable with that Dominant.