A Light in the Dark

When I started my journey into the D/s lifestyle, I kept running into a contradiction which confused me. If D/s, M/s and BDSM were supposedly so "good", why was it only talked about in damp, dreary and broken down dungeons? I tend to associate dungeons (and their assumed atmosphere of rats, dripping water, and cold, moldy stones) with "bad". There was always this sense of fear and foreboding which accompanied the term BDSM. While people talked about how enriching the lifestyle was, at the same time they often acted as if it was something only "bad" people do while hidden away in shame.

It is true that our lifestyle must be kept private from the uneducated and intolerant vanilla world. However, I was not willing to accept that this made my lifestyle choice "bad" or "dirty". Even at the start of my journey, I sensed that there was an uplifting and hopeful aspect to what I longed for. It didn't make me feel bad, it made me feel GOOD, and I wanted desperately to meet other people in the lifestyle that felt the same.

Second Life has the unique ability to show us both the dark and light side of almost any situation we can imagine. Hopping from sim to sim, we can experience a wide range of perspectives on the D/s lifestyle. Some people want that dark, brutal slavery and there are many places which will accommodate them. But for those of us who choose a different path, there are the educational sims. These are places we can go without being harassed or molested, where we can engage in adult conversation and hopefully learn something new about ourselves and our relationships.

It's vitally important that the educational sims are maintained in Second Life. Each of us was new to this lifestyle at some point and faced with the arduous task of finding quality information and assistance without being ashamed of our desires or being preyed upon. As practitioners of D/s we are all called to support, in any manner we can, the sims and owners who have dedicated themselves to providing this service.

If you travel around the educational sims, you'll see the 80/20 law in effect. 80% of the funding and work is done by only 20% of the people. I applaud those efforts. But it's time for everyone to stop and think about what they can do to help.

The economy sucks. Not everyone has the disposable income to donate (though even small donations add up). If you can donate, you should. However, each of us has talent(s). If you can't offer money, offer time or assistance. Seek out the sim owner and let them know your talent. Can you design graphics? Lead a discussion group? Build? Plan parties? Write? Do administrative tasks like transcription or filing? Believe me, there is ALWAYS something which needs to be done.

If you are reading this blog, chances are that you enjoy the educational sims. Many of you are already offering some form of support. If you aren't, I hope you'll consider becoming an active part of the community. We need you. We need your gifts, your time and your talent to make Second Life a solid source of education and assistance to the wider D/s community.

There were people who helped you on your journey. Turn around and lend a hand to others. Helping, welcoming, caring and educating...it's all part of TTWD.

[I stopped by SoS yesterday to take a peek at the new castle and was reminded, all over again, why I was initially attracted to SoS. Nothing about this place looks like a dungeon. There is no sense of fear at all, but only a welcoming atmosphere which encourages exploration. Kudos to Mikhail, Sir, Alisha and Sarrah. The new castle looks wonderful!]