Basics Build the Foundation

I was newly collared, hot, ready and oh-so-eager to serve my Master in any number of delicious, delightful and decadent ways. I was begging for Him.

"Command me...Control me...Master me!"

He had been quizzing me over several days, asking questions about my life, my dreams, and my goals. He wanted to know private things, too. It excited me to give Him all the details. No one had ever asked so many questions about ME and I loved the attention. Finally, in that extremely sexy, slow and deliberate way of His, Master gave me my first task as His submissive:

"You need to drink more water."

I was a little disappointed so I asked hopefully, "Is there anything else Master would like me to do?"

"No more sweets without permission. Eat fruit, instead."

Um...it was not what I wanted. I wanted some sexual task or erotic assignment. I wanted to be His submissive a.k.a. sex slave, not obey the Department of Agriculture's guidelines for good health. Granted, Master was taking luscious sexual advantage of me, but I was ready for the good stuff.

Like most submissives, I yearned to feel His darker side, that sexual Mastery. What I didn't realize until I looked back on that time, is that I WAS being Mastered: but it was complete Mastery and preparation for more intense play. From the beginning, Master wanted much more from me than just sexual scenes. He wanted a permanent, life-long submissive. So with that goal in mind Master began training my heart, body, mind and spirit to be absolutely and completely HIS.

It takes a wise Master to understand needs. No matter how hot and eager the submissive is, if her basic life needs are being neglected it will eventually overwhelm her and possibly destroy the relationship. If she isn't getting enough sleep, she's going to burn out. If she isn't eating healthy foods, she'll lack energy. If she feels unloved or lacks friends, she will become insecure and too needy (demanding). If money or housing is a worry, the stress will affect her ability to submit. How can she submit fully to you if she must fight to maintain control over an out-of-control situation?

Handle the basics first. Put that submissive who stays up all night on a bedtime. Monitor her food, if necessary. Help her manage a budget or to find help in doing so. Remember, as a Master, you have already conquered these things in yourself, right? Share your insight with your sub, help her improve her LIFE and I guarantee that it will reflect in her deeper submission to you.

There will always be new situations or ongoing issues that the submissive must deal with, so continue to monitor those basic needs. Add more rules or protocols as she develops, but ALWAYS check back to make sure she is in compliance with the basics (we tend to lapse on them).

Difficult times in my relationship with Master are thankfully few, but they always seem to occur when those basic needs get out of whack. If I don't get enough good sleep, go on a sugar binge or get trapped at my desk for days on end doing work and go without exercise or getting outdoors (fresh air), I tend to get cranky, irritable and try to wrestle back control.

Wrestling back control is another way of saying "I have a need here that isn't being met." Although I would argue about some petty thing to Master, a closer look has routinely shown that my REAL need was a basic one. Once that basic need was addressed (like getting some sleep), the petty thing I was squabbling about seemed irrelevant or not nearly as important as I made it out to be.

Basic needs.
Always start there because it's the simple stuff which builds a solid foundation for D/s.

[dual posted from the blog subtypical]