Sub-stance

Repost by Sarrah Darkfold
Saturday, September 11, 2010

My stance

Well as this is the first of my posts (and i love to chat so i will probably post many) i have wondered how to start it. It seems to me the best way to start is to explain my stance so to speak. What is it to me that submission means, what i teach, and why this lifestyle?

Submission to me is a natural state of mind. It is a need of mine to want to give all i am (even if i don't necessarily think its much in itself) and all i have to one Master to own and control. I have actually been criticized and told "This is a modern age. Women are allowed to think for themselves now". Well...imagine that. Yes i am allowed to think for myself and make my own decisions. My decision to give myself completely. My decision to trust all to Him. So my question back to this girl was simple "If i am so free, then what business is it of yours?"

Am i allowed to think freely for myself ONLY if it fits into societies ideals? And what exactly is so terrible, so completely wrong with loving one person with all i am? Why should i let society train me to be untrusting and secretive? Because i might get hurt? Who hasn't? At my age hurt has already been. Deal with it.

Submission to me is the complete giving of myself in utter trust and love to the One who earns that from me. Master Mikhail earned that in SL and RL from me in every possible way. And perhaps because He knows He has my heart completely He freely gives the love i need every day. I may be crazy but...i thought that was how love was supposed to work.

What i teach in my classes is just what i believe. Giving of one's self completely. You cant teach the BEING of submissive. You either have that tendency or you don't (or you don't know yet and and are trying to figure it out). But figuring out why you feel the way you do, how understanding these feelings and needs can lead to fulfillment beyond words, and most important...when to trust. Yes just like the speed date service, the christian date service and hopelessly-single-forever-so-give me a break-give me a date-online service...ALL have predators. All have dangers. Sl D/s is no different than any other romance driven meeting area. There are a few bad bad people.

Being smart is usually the best way to be safe (remember not all predators look like demons. Ted Bundy ring a bell?). And these evil roaches can hide any where in any walk of life. Not just in D/s and certainly not just online. So a good deal of what i teach is based on making CAREFUL evaluations of others and INFORMED decisions. Information i didn't have at my disposal when i started. Hopefully it gives others a better edge and saves them some of the turmoil i went through There is no need for people to get hurt especially when there is someone willing to arm you with info.

But here we are back at being armed and dangerous. Of course we have to be careful. Of course we should be informed and protective of our own safety. A submissive who simply gives themselves to the first person that walks by is little more than a tramp. When a Dominant knows the submissive is smart, careful, and expects the Dominant to try a little...when the Dominant has to invest the time and effort...then the gift is fully appreciated once earned.

The bottom line to me on this lifestyle...its not for the faint of heart. It isn't for the person who hides behind their locked doors every day. And it isn't for the speed dater either. Be prepared to look deep into the mirror and be utterly honest with YOURSELF. Then be prepared for months and years of work that it will take to build a relationship that is strong and healthy. Master and i enjoy just such a beautiful bond. But as He said just this morning, W/we didn't pop out of the box this way. He and i spent over a year just building a bond on line. Not many RL vanilla relationships today can say they went almost a year without even kissing once before committing their heart. D/s lifestyle takes us back to a time when commitment meant something. In my little home town people are still celebrating 50 and 60 year wedding anniversaries. But they grow fewer every year. Just a little something to think about before dissing the idea of my surrendering and gladly handing my heart to Master.

Posted by Sarrah Darkfold at 9:12 AM