Sunday, August 26, 2012

Staying sane when rejection strikes

Picture it: You're in a club, some of your all-time favorite songs are being played and the establishment is filled to its capacity with attractive men and women. You pick one man or woman from the crowd and strike up a conversation with them. You discover that this person has a pleasant personality in addition to their nice appearance. You become slightly excited as you find yourself enjoying the company of this individual and develop a hunger in wanting to get to know H/him or H/her better. But, oh no! H/he or S/she rejects you, in some shape or form. If you have been on the lookout for a Dominant or submissive or slave for awhile, rejection can be devastating; regardless of the reasons from the ones that rejects us.

What we must remember is that we are going to be turned down by some people in every aspect of our lives. But we can't let renunciation or the fear of it, stop us from pursing our dreams. While some aspirations are easier to achieve than others, there are still things that we can do, to improve our chances of completing our goals. If your dream is to find a submissive or slave or Dominant, one idea is to recall as many as possible the negative comments that you have received and examine them to see if there is/are area's in your life that needs betterment.

Regardless of outcomes, be grateful for the things that you do have and keep an open heart and mind for the positive items that may come your way.


Friday, August 10, 2012

The Newly Single

As many of us know, the period between relationships can be boring, but it can also be a time of enrichment. Those who choose to improve themselves and take part in opportunities that leads to emotional growth during this/these lull's, can give more to their next partner and partnership.

Taking the steps to help yourself right after a relationship ends, is not a good idea. People must go through the grieving process in order to be ready to transform themselves for the better and for their next partnership. What is the grieving process? The grieving process is a plan to accept that a traumatic event has taken place. What are the phases that one waxes through during the grieving process? The emotions that one will experience when proceeding through the grieving process are: Denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance.

After completing the grieving process, what areas in your life do you feel need improving? Dom/mes, what sections in a submissive's journey do you feel  requires healthy development in? Besides getting through the grieving process and making our lives finer from a psychological anschauung, what other things can we do during singlehood, so that we can continue to stay busy and not make poor choices due to boredom?


Friday, August 3, 2012

D/s in the modern world

Back when there were no computers or cell phones and guys were the primary bread winners, Dominant and submissive relationships were the norm and easy to maintain. We now live in a time where women have the capacity to out-earn men in many professions, coupled with the availability of internet that can be found in several different types of electronics.

It's currently the twenty-first century and we have the ability to choose our path, without worrying that our gender, orientation, creed and/or ethnicity will block it. How does one enter a D/s relationship in a age where equality is the trend? First, you should research ANY lifestyle at length before jumping in. Read as many documents, talk with as large of a population and attend all the classes, if any are available, that you can about your desired avenue, so you know exactly what you're getting into. Second, once you have a chosen road, build a support system of knowledgeable, trustworthy people that are in the lifestyle that you have selected. On the same token, don't ignore the folks that have been in your life for awhile, especially family.  For those that don't agree with your passage, if they truly care for you, they will accept it in time. Persons who have friends that are youthful  and/or have lots of younger members in their kin, they may have a particularly tough time in accepting your route, as society now dictates that we are all equal. Good communication and patience are often the keys in overcoming obstacles and fostering tolerance. Third, with the advancement of technology, workloads in jobs are increasing at a rapid rate. Stress from your occupation, plus all of the commitments in your journey, may have you wondering, how does one have the opportunity to explore a ethnology properly, when one has so many things on their plate? One word: Prioritize! If you you really want something, you'll do whatever is necessary to make it happen. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. I am working on getting another college degree and i volunteer and work in Second Life, all while actively learning about D/s. If i can do it, so can you. Lastly, as with many things in life, maintenance is critical in keeping yourself and relationships healthy. Taking proper care of yourself and your relations with others is the secret ingredient in keeping everything vital.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Why Are We Here???

When you walk into a room or a street or someones house, sometimes you can have this feeling of.."Something brought me here and I don't understand it." There are many times this may happen to me on an emotional side.

I have decided to share some of my own thoughts with you, and show you a little bit of myself.

I use to a lot stand somewhere and say.. "What am i doing here?" I would ask myself why I am there, but it's not till a later time i realize exactly why I was there. It is amazing how life can offer us so much and mother nature is beautiful and then you realize, YOU have so much to offer yourself.

It was a weir time for me to figure this out. I was under a lot of stress, emotionally and physically, mentally even. When I am under stress I tend to think more deeply about things - which could be the way we all think. I tend to dissect things naturally, but slower.

We all talk about the cookie cutter Sub, we all talk about the subs, submitting only on command, we talk about the subs who say.."Me me me". I was her at one time.

I remember Imíng someone in Secondlife, I didn't know why I was in this persons IM.. But now I see exactly why.

I used to submit on command. I was the one with the thoughts of... "Mr Dommy Dom, I will submit when I want to. I would get  cold negative reactions, and then I would start thinking that I was not good enough. I didn't see the behavior, I didn't see the way I was acting. I would act out to get attention, all because I did not feel worthy enough.

Growing up I had a tough situation, it forced me to grow up, but it also forced me to be quiet. Don't show your emotions, because you would only be punished for it, and really.. Who wants to hear some silly little girl's opinion. That's the way my mind worked.

When i found my submission, or just felt it a little I was so excited of the fact that someone was going to take care of me for once. That there helped me down the track of the cookie cutter attitude. The fingers started pointing...."Well hey.. I have submitted to you, now you owe me everything in return. Everything being.. My expectations. It through me in very scary situations.

I have a few good friends who now will tell me straight. They help me see so many different angles and it really helps.

I use to feel empty while in a relationship. I was always searching for that validation to make me feel better. But I wanted them to be proud of me, but no matter what they gave, it was not reaching my expectation. I was very much a "fix me fix me"girl.

About a year ago, I remember standing out the front of Sos doors and feeling this warmth, feeling this pleasure, this switch just turning on. At first I thought i was going to be ill, because that hot rush only came if i was ill. Then I realized exactly what it was.. My very own submission.

That moment on i had so many positive people in my life that I was learning off. I was in that exciting time......"I feel it, I can feel my submission!!!!!!!" Then the race for the peak of the mountain started.
I was learning so much about myself that I didn't want it to stop, so I was like racing to the top of every peak.

Well did I learn a great lesson there. I was missing out on all the little things. I wasn't stopping to smell the roses, I just wanted the car to keep going with no gas..."Get me there, get me there". I started to see that the little thing I was learning and growing from were the most beautiful, spiritual things about myself. I started to ask if we can pull over for a break. I wanted to smell the roses and when I realized how beneficial that was for me.... Now it's like a motivator to slow down.

The meaning of this blog is.... "We may not thing we are exactly where we need to be at times, but I could nearly say... You are exactly where you are meant to be".

We do like to rush, but take that time, relax. There are people who come in to our lives, and at the time it may be a negative feeling, but then, after a few months, there is always... yes always something they have given us, even if they do not know... So why are we here??... Because I am on a life journey with myself, so just breathe it in.

Thank you.
Tahlia Snoodle