Thursday, November 17, 2011


I am proud to present a brandnew info on new developments in Second Life's ADULT LIFE to You today. On Monday, November 14th 2011, the new Adult Hub opened (the former adult hub for SL was on Zindra mainland but it did not bring as output what Linden Labs had hoped to achieve by it). Preparations are still being done and people are busy working on the Adult HUB SIMs to make the experience for the future users of the HUB best as possible. The official launch date for the Adult HUB is announced for December 2nd 2011.

Linden Labs had put out a tender a few months ago asking for residents to present proposals to make a new way of helping people who do not nessesarily know what adult services and activites are avallable in Second Life. The bid run by the Freedom Continent was successful.

So please, if You are meeting more newbie avatars and/or people new to BDSM and/or more people with questions on one of the Freedom Continent SIMs in future, don't be surprised and be aware they might have come over from the new Adult HUB SIMs. It would be awesome if You could help them further.

The new Adult Hub will be the place where people who are doing searches for adult-themed communities and content will be redirected to in SL. The Adult Hub will serve as an information center which will be staffed with both volunteers and paid greeters to assist new people to SL, and new to Adult themed content in SL, find what they are looking for in SL. Help from how to set up the avatar, change clothes, get viewer setting rights and such to how to where to find speciality SIMs (educational sims, leisure time fun stuff, adult-themed, general SL events, etc).

The current Adult hub consists of 5 sims. The central Hub is for all aspects of Adult life in a little detail and to direct people to one of the 4 further surrounding Sims depending on what they wish to know.

HERE IS THE SLURL: Hub/137/138/55

The four other HUB Sims around the center SIM are the CARP/Roleplay hub, the Sex hub, the Gor/Medieval hub and the BDSM/Fetish hub. Each of the sims represents and focuses on their own area of the adult life in second life.

The staff of the hubs are required to provide information about the topic of the HUB Sim that they work in, be it from personal experiance, academic knowledge, notecards and boards that will be on the Sims,  right down to direction people to other adult Sims in Second Life where they can find out more information or the adult experience that they wish.

CURRENTLY GREETERS ARE BEING HIRED TO WORK ON ONE OF THE ADULT HUB SIMs, they will be paid 25 L$ per hour. If You are interested to work at the Adult HUB and help adult users of SL, then please apply by sending a notecard to Naaman McMahon. A few members of the D/s academy are already working at the Adult HUB.

Sims are not required to join the Freedom Continent at the location of the new Adult HUB  to be recognised by the HUB as this is for the whole of the adult world in second life, not a handful.

We hope that the new adult HUB will help keep our adult communities growing and help newcomers find a positive support system and resources.

If you have any questions, please contact Mirjam Munro, Sidius Core, Naaman Mcmahon, JeZeBeLe Dagger, or Jovial Denimore. The main responsible person for the Adult HUB is Serjourn Daxter, the head manager of the Freedom Continent.

Many thanks to Naaman McMahon and Jovial Denimore for providing the major parts of this information text.

Interesting related links to read:

Enjoy Your adult SL experience and come explore the new ADULT HUB,

Mirjam Munro
D/s academy director
ACES Facilitator
Member of the Freedom Continent Director's Board
Staff of the Adult HUB

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Finding the me in my submission: a turning point

I've been debating sharing this. For one, it's a really personal experience, and a very emotional one at that. But then I thought, what if someone was reading this and in a similar position. What if someone needed to hear the staggeringly positive emotions that could be right around the corner. I guess this constitutes as a disclaimer. This is my experience, and can probably be labeled as one of the best days of my life. If I can help someone else chance upon something as equally as rewarding, then this has been worth it.

The other day, I had the most incredible experience. Things have shifted so unexpectedly. The happiness I’ve found can’t be measured. I don’t know if it’s from throwing myself into as many educational opportunities as possible or my friends or me uncovering a large portion of myself that I was unable to reach before. Perhaps it’s a combination of everything.

I’ve hit a really good place in my submission. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, and picking up a lot of things – what I like, what about Dominance and submission draws me to it, why I’m submissive. I’ve had this insatiable appetite to know more about everything. That’s nothing new, but suddenly I’m feeling so different. It was early one morning before I was at work and I had a moment to just reflect. My mind drifted to where it wanted to, which ended up being my current state as a submissive. And what surprised me the most was what I felt. I was happy. Incredibly happy. Happier than I’ve been in a very long time.

This amazing sense of peace settled and I didn’t feel pressured or anxious. I wasn’t hopeful because I was content. My submission in itself brought me joy. I felt what it meant to embody my submission and the accompanying freedom. I could feel an overwhelming complete sense of joy, openness, and love radiate from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet. It was such a rush, I had a high the rest of the day. My coworkers couldn’t figure out why I was grinning.

I think there’s a power and a beauty in relying on yourself and in finding your inner strength. For me, I found where my true joy lies. In being submissive, in recognizing that need within myself and allowing it to grow I’ve opened myself up. I push myself to keep learning. For me personally, I feel like the more I learn the more I’m doing for myself and the more in touch I become with the submissive I am. It’s like a cycle – the more I learn, the more self-aware I am. The more self-aware I am, the more I can explore. It’s exciting! I know these feelings have only scratched the surface of what’s out there, and I’m not only thrilled to have reached such a positive place – I’m excited

This positive energy – I still feel it. I think my mind and heart were finally ready. I don’t doubt myself anymore. I’m way more confident in my choices, my opinions and my thoughts. I believe everyone has their own timeline and this isn’t a conscious choice. It’s a turning point – one that happens when you’re ready. To feel such an absoluteness in my own submission is such a huge step. I’ve always known that the collar doesn’t make the submissive but now I feel it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Finding the me in my submission: worries, needs and fulfillment

The Second Installment:

I’ve always been a bit of a forward thinker. Always. My future has been a cause of anxiety for me since high school. So over time, I’ve become really good at ignoring that which maybe I shouldn’t. Every logical bone in my body knows that a collar doesn’t make the submissive. But that reasoning does nothing to quell the loneliness. That’s one thing I wonder. Yes, this is the time to be focusing on myself, but how do I combat the natural human emotion of loneliness? I do think that is one of the harder parts about being unowned. We are typically around a lot of collared submissives – joyful couples and cheery people and at low moments it can be kind of sucky.

I wish I had amazing advice for this situation. I only know that for me personally, keeping busy helps. Work on something you’re good at. It’s times like that when I just say – take one day at a time. There is no rush. And in the grand scheme of things, there is absolutely no reason to want anything to happen before it should. Take comfort in your friends. I’m learning to step back and find the peace within myself. I’ve always known that the collar doesn’t make the submissive, but I’m beginning to feel it. And why rush something that is so important. A collar isn’t something to take lightly and at this point, I’m more likely to be overcautious then to let the next “Dominant” throw a collar around my neck. We work so hard to understand ourselves, our submission, to be the best version of who we. Why would you want to risk all the hard work for the sake of calling someone Master?

Be careful with your heart. Personally, I struggle between protecting my heart and not shutting everyone out. It’s very easy to get carried away and want so badly to protect yourself from any further hurt that you stick up nice big walls. The mentality “I’m just going to look out for myself and only myself” is a dangerous one. It’s very negative and very emotionally draining. It kind of feels like the last fight, in a way. At least for me it did, almost like I was giving up. I’m still cautious, but when I finally stopped trying to keep everyone away I was so much happier. And when we’re happy and have a little less to worry about, we’re more able to focus on what’s really important. Our growth. Our own goals. Exploring our submission.

I’ve finally put into words what’s been causing me so much turmoil lately. Not only as a submissive, but as a person in general, I am so much more comfortable with structure and direction in my life. Being uncollared, the only structure I have is whatever I create for myself. I’m at work Monday through Friday by 8:30. I put my things down at my desk, change my shoes and make a cup of coffee in the kitchen. With coffee in hand, I scan the news before slowly easing into my emails and tasks for the day. That is my daily routine. Having that small bit of structure helps me “battle” that ever present need. Collared, I had tasks to provide stability and goals to provide direction. Lately, my only goal is to make it to the gym after work. Well, not entirely true – my other goal includes learning as much as I can right now and understanding myself. I guess figuring out how to semi-satiate this nagging need for stability and direction is just a more difficult part of delving into who I really am. In a way I'm forcing myself to learn to be confident without the Dominant provided direction that I crave.

So how do we as uncollared submissives help ourselves in this situation? Yes, it’s our own responsibility to satisfy a need we may have. I see such strength and power in that. I’m really proud of myself when I am able to understand myself enough to know what it is that I need at a particular moment. For example, I’m going to stop yelling at myself to sleep in every time my boss is out of the office. I’ll take comfort in my morning routine because it’s helping to fill a need in me and has probably started as an unconscious way to help myself when I felt unstable and insecure. I’m also going to set more goals for myself. I’m a runner so my goal of getting to the gym a couple of times a week is feasible. When I start reaching that goal on a regular basis, I’ll set another one for myself.

Just because there isn’t a collar around my neck doesn’t mean I have to become complacent. There’s no one saying I can’t at least fill a small part of that desire. Learning to depend on yourself can be extremely gratifying. I think as we find more fulfillment in that, we’ll find satisfaction – completeness in ourselves that a Dominant can’t provide.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Finding the me in my submission: Self-Exploration as a newly uncollared submissive

Recently uncollared, I realized the only thing I was sure of was my name. Actually, even hearing that was hard as my previous Master had a pet name for me that I had grown so accustomed to hearing, [consider removing comma as this is one thought] my own name sounded strange. My own identity was no longer familiar. I was “jessa, slave, owned” because my Master had said it was so.

No longer having that collar or that person telling me who I was, became was a harsh reality. The first few days alone were spent in a retrograde reflection; I just willingly left a long-term relationship – did I do the right thing? According to some I was a lucky girl. That was lesson number one. The first thing I had to understand was the only opinion that mattered at that point was my own. Now was the time to focus on my own thoughts and opinions because that was what I had unknowingly lost in the past year. Because I was the only person who mattered when it came to my submission at this point, what other people thought was no longer of concern.

Upon leaving the relationship, my constant question was “was this my fault?” I simultaneously felt heartbroken and guilty. I was angry and I couldn’t pinpoint why. I certainly didn’t trust anyone and found that keeping to myself was my safest option. It was hard to join new social groups. Speaking up took a lot of courage that I was lacking at that moment and I was so lonely and out of my comfort zone. But a few very wise people got in my head and with the right words and reminders got me settled on the right track. That was my second lesson. Don’t keep out the people who are trying to help you. Fear is natural, sadness is expected, as is the urge to protect yourself. Find the little bit of rational thought that you can muster from within and see those friends as people you should keep close. It’s okay to need help.

I also believe all that negativity is part of the process, but I hit a point where I realized that I wasn’t being fair to myself as a submissive. Alas, I had discovered my third lesson. It’s my job, especially no longer wearing a collar, to nurture, explore and rediscover who I am as a submissive woman. My submission is my anchor. It stems from the deepest part of my soul; it’s what gives me strength. Now was the perfect time to reconnect with what drives that feeling. After being in a relationship for so long, a relationship that ultimately didn’t work, I was unfamiliar with who I was. I wasn’t sure of my own likes or dislikes. I wasn’t sure of my own desires. Eventually I found out I wasn’t sure of what I even expected from a Dominant or a relationship, or if I was even allowed to have expectations. I could write and rewrite the affirmation I had been reciting for the past year plus, but that was no longer me. I had to start from the bottom and build myself up, the foundation of me being my submission, and slowly layering on top of that as I learned more.

Besides being around really positive, supportive people, the most important and helpful thing I’ve done is jump into educational opportunities. Classes, discussions, anything that even mildly interested me I attended. I cannot express how valuable I have found educational outlets to be. Not only do I get a chance to hear other’s opinions, I also see this as a chance to come to terms with what wasn’t working in my previous relationship. Honestly, it was somewhat painful in the beginning. I spent many discussions thinking, “You did this, this and this wrong,” or, “you shouldn’t have done that.” My fourth lesson – Everything I attended was with the intention to help me rebuild. No one can make me feel bad about myself right now, except myself. This is my opportunity to gather the tools and information I need to make healthy, positive decisions for whatever may come my way in the future.

My first self-discovery was exciting and a source of motivation - it felt good to know I was actually making progress. For as long as I can remember, I have identified myself with the label of “slave.” Looking back I now realized I only called myself a slave because that is what my Master called me, literally from day one of my exploration of this lifestyle. I didn’t put enough faith in myself to question that, to figure it out for myself before I let him make that decision for me. It was liberating to come to that decision on my own, under my own power, working on myself as I have been – there’s a certain freedom that goes along with that, with this journey. Perhaps it’s a sense of euphoric pride that comes with my developing self-confidence. Yes, there have been days where I’ve had to push myself to get to a class or a discussion but every one has been worth it. I’m learning to form my own opinions about my submission in a way that I never gave myself the chance to previously. And in doing that I’m slowly gaining a confidence in myself that I never had without a Master by my side. In retrospect, those are two different types of confidence and that which I’m working on now will enable me to serve from a much healthier place.

It’s somewhat exciting to be in the position I’m in. I don’t answer to anyone, I make my own decisions, and I put myself first. I’m indulging in being rather selfish (nicely, of course!) because I don’t want to miss an opportunity to discover a new part of me. There’s no need to rush, but I see this as the chance I need to focus on me. Should I ever have the opportunity to wear a collar again, I want to be in the best shape I can possibly be. I want to take the responsibility now to work on my issues as best I can myself because ultimately, my submission comes down to me.


This is the first of a series I have been inspired to write by a few very special. I hope to document as honestly as possible my experience as a newly uncollared submissive through this tumultuous, exciting, scary process. I'll update as things progress!