20 Rules To Live By, Rule #1

(Image found via Google, original watermark preserved.)

Ohai there, Sos.... and others who creep on the Sos blog.  I'm Tivi, and I'm new to the Sos Blog, but not new to blogging.  I figured I'd try my best to work out some stuff in regards to my submission enough to blog it... and yeah, I'm pretty outspoken and shoot straight from the hip, so I'll try my best to not offend.  But if I do, consider this your warning/apology.

I've admittedly been REALLY lacking in inspiration to blog ANYTHING lately, so I kinda thought I was crazy when I first volunteered to blog here as well.  "You can't even keep up with your fashion and dance blogs, and you're going to volunteer to write about your submission too?" Well, whatever.  I've never claimed to not be crazy.  :-D

What's inspired me lately is that I found a notecard in my inventory recently titled "20 Rules To Live By" that I notated I stole from someone's profile.  Unfortunately, I didn't notate WHOSE profile I stole it from, so my apologies there.  I figured I'd start my journey in blogging for Sos by posting an entry about each of these rules... and try my best to relate them to my submission, or my views on D/s and M/s relationships.

First, a few points to note.  I identify as a slave.  I know there are some who probably don't agree, but frankly, it's about how *I* see MYSELF and my own feelings/inclinations in a power exchange.  In that regard, I believe I am a slave.  Some of you will hear jokes/past stories about my being a Switch.  I DID identify that way at one point, and I don't deny it.  But after more intense soul searching and focusing on what REALLY makes me happy... I am a slave... deep down in here somewhere, I am a slave.

Now that that's taken care of... on to Rule #1.

20 Rules to Live By, Rule #1
If you're afraid to fight, then you'll never win.

Some of you who follow my other blogging will note that I have started this series in my fashion blog as well. However, even though I'm writing about the same rules, I'm going to touch on different aspects between here and there.  As here I am free to speak more openly about my submission, as it is much more widely accepted here.

As a submissive or slave, is it ok to fight for what you believe in?  Is it ok to 'fight' for your relationship, if it goes sour?  Is it ok to 'fight' for your Master/Dominant/Mistress/Domme to other people?  Is there ever a point in time in which you will have to 'fight' for your partner against YOURSELF?  Let me see if I can address these points.

• As a submissive or slave, is it ok to fight for what you believe in?
• I believe so.  I mean, yes, we are submissives and slaves, and so there are protocols to follow in regards to respect... especially if you are fighting 'against' your Master/Dominant/Mistress/Domme... but even though we are submissives and slaves, we are still people.  As people we still have personal beliefs, morals, core values, etc... and it is our right... our duty, even, as human beings, to fight for those things that we believe in.  How happy would you really be in a relationship if you settled for "Mr./Mrs. Right Now" instead of defending what you know you need and holding our for the one that can meet those needs?  Masters/Dominants/Mistresses/Dommes are not the only ones who hold core values and are held responsible to them.  We as submissives and slaves have our own set of core values, and we are held accountable to them as well, if by no one else, then by ourselves.
• Is it ok to 'fight' for your relationship, if it goes sour?
• Again, I believe so.  If for no other reason, I believe this is true because of the nature of the Rule itself: If you're afraid to fight, then you'll never win.  If you're too scared to stand up and fight for your relationship, then what exactly are you showing your partner about the value you place on that relationship?  Pull the Dominant and submissive out of it for a moment.  If you don't 'fight' for your boyfriend/girlfriend when the situation calls for it, you're going to inevitably end up showing them that the relationship just isn't that important to you... that the individual themselves isn't worth fighting for.  Put the D/s and M/s back into it.  Is that REALLY the impression that you as a slave/submissive want to leave on your Master/Mistress/Dominant/Domme?  That they aren't worth your effort?  And same question to the Masters/Mistresses/Dominants/Dommes... do you want to show your slave/submissive that they aren't worth fighting for?  Stereotypically (and I'm not claiming that this is true for every girl, and that it's never true for boys) girls want to be fought for... women want to believe that chivalry is not dead, and that there are a few good ones out there willing to defend their honor if it comes to that.  Again, I'm not saying that this isn't true in reverse, as I believe everything about a relationship is a two-way street.
• Is it ok to 'fight' for your Master/Dominant/Mistress/Domme to other people?
• I think this is sitautional.  There are some cases in which it would bring more dishonor to your Owner and your Owner's House to stand up and try to fight Their battles for them.. and it wouldn't really help.  For example, if my Master was involved in an altercation that has absolutely nothing to do with me, I am not involved whatsoever, it would be blatantly disrespectful for me to insert myself into the situation and enter the confrontation, even with the good intention of defending my Owner.  It shows a lack of trust in my Master's ability to defend Himself, and it shows a lack of humility to comprehend that there are some situations that simply don't involve me.  Pick your battles.  Some aren't yours to fight.
• Is there ever a point in time in which you will have to 'fight' for your partner against YOURSELF?
• If you would've asked me this 2 weeks ago, I would've said no, and I probably would've laughed.  After all, if you've gone through the necessary soul searching and you've gotten to know the person properly enough, then you should know exactly what you're getting into and have squashed most of, if not all of, your doubts prior to entering into the relationship and ultimately a collar.  HOWEVER, as I'm learning first hand, sometimes things that did not seem like big issues, or things that were explained away in the beginning and you never second guessed it, come back to haunt you in a not so good way.  While you may have to fight against your own sense of doubt, it's also important to objectively look at each of your concerns, just like you would if another person was presenting concerns to you.  A lot of times, we can dismiss these doubts as simply being 'paranoid', especially those of use who have been hurt many times before... but sometimes, if you're not careful, you could ignore something that is actually a legitimate concern

I can't guarantee the length of any of my posts... it just depends on how each of the rules, and later other topics, inspire me and how much I really have to say on the topic.  I promise not to write a giant novel... though for some of you this post might seem like a novel.  Sorry about that.

Just as a last reminder:

20 Rules To Live By, Rule #1

If you're afraid to fight, then you'll never win.