This will be the topic for Tuesdays Master/slave discussion at S.O.S. at 4:00 PM slt. We will delve into how this affects the Master/slave dynamic and the special dangers involved in our lifestyle. How does a slave cope with not having a Master and a Master not having a slave. Some of the questions we will discuss are.
- How do we know when we are mentally healed enough to begin a new dynamic?
- How do we tell when we are doing it for the right reasons?
- What are the warning signs of a person who is not ready?
- What is meant by the term "Dom Hopper" and should they be avoided"?
- What is meant by the term "Collector Dom" and should they be avoided"?
- What is a Rescuer? And what is a Victim? And can these mindsets be destructive?
- And finally we will touch on what I think is the root of this entire topic... "Codependency"
I really could not have said the following better my self so please give tons of credit to the author below...
Master Merlin
Original post and link...
http://anamikas.hubpages.com/hub/Top-10-Wrong-Reasons-for-Being-in-Relationships-Love-Liking-someone
Getting into a Relationship for Wrong Reasons
Are
you someone who moves from one unhappy relationship to another? Then
that is probably because you got into the relationship for the wrong
reasons.
Being in love is an amazing feeling but not all relationships survive. Many relationships end faster than it started. This is because many people get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. Falling in love for all the wrong reasons can result in not only a broken heart but much pain and sorrow that it may even affect future relationships. I can understand a teenager wanting to fall in love out of the fascination or excitement of the concept or feeling of being in love. But it is so sad to see many men and women even getting married for the wrong reasons only to end up in a serious break up or divorce. What are some wrong reasons for liking or falling in love with someone? Given below are top 10 such wrong reasons for being in a relationship.
Being in love is an amazing feeling but not all relationships survive. Many relationships end faster than it started. This is because many people get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. Falling in love for all the wrong reasons can result in not only a broken heart but much pain and sorrow that it may even affect future relationships. I can understand a teenager wanting to fall in love out of the fascination or excitement of the concept or feeling of being in love. But it is so sad to see many men and women even getting married for the wrong reasons only to end up in a serious break up or divorce. What are some wrong reasons for liking or falling in love with someone? Given below are top 10 such wrong reasons for being in a relationship.
There are many wrong reasons why people want to fall in love or get into a serious relationship or marriage. Given are top 10 such reasons.
1. Loneliness and Desperation: Majority of those who get into a relationship for the wrong reasons fall into this category. Many people tend to feel worthless or lacking something when they are single or lonely. This emptiness and desperation to be treated as special make them get into relationships fast only to regret later.
2. Friends: Many times guys and girls get into relationship because of friends. If some are been lured into relationship by friends so that they can do things together some get into it because they do not want to miss out on the game of love when their friends are enjoying it. Many people tend to think ‘Everyone else have someone, why not me?’ Such relationships where friends are the motivation are mostly short lived.
3. Distraction from Problems: It is a very common thing to get into relationships to avoid or forget problems. Victims of Bad Parenting are often seen getting into such relationships as a means of escape. Also many people are seen immediately jump into a new relationship after breakup from a long term Relationship on Rebound to forget the pain and loneliness caused by the breakup. Such Relationships may bring passion, purpose and excitement in the short term, but fail to survive as they are not based on love.
4. Pressure to settle down: Many times elders in the family exert pressure to settle down by getting married especially after a certain age. I have even seen mothers getting worried because their daughters could not attract any guys towards them. Relationships for the sake of society or because of desperation because everyone says you should often do not stand the test of time.
5. Need for/to Support: Many Guys and girls look for support by getting into relationship. Especially there are many girls even in this modern age that cannot stand on their own and look for support from father, brother or husband all the time. Many who get into relationships are on the lookout for someone who would take care of them. This can be the opposite too. A need for being a support or to have someone who would depend on can also prompt people to get into marriage or serious relationships.
6. Need of Physical Intimacy: For many people the motivation for relationship is Sex or Physical intimacy with the Partner. Desperation for Sex can many times result in jumping into the sack with the wrong people.
7. Getting into Relationships out of Sympathy/Guilt: Many people get trapped into relationships out of sympathy or guilt. I recently got a mail from a girl who got into a relationship because the guy tried to end his life when the girl rejected him. She is unhappy and depressed and wanted a way out without hurting the Guy. Such relationships can make one feel trapped and unhappy.
8. He /She is a Challenge: Many times people try to win over others because they are unavailable and presents a challenge. Winning over such a person is a triumph and such a person would be a prize Trophy to show off.
9. Caught Up In The Moment: Many times Guys and Girls get caught up in the moment. What they thought attractive a short while ago does not appeal to them anymore as they were impulsive at that point of time. That is why we see make breakups within days, weeks or months.
10. Convenience: Many times people get into relationships just because they find it’s Convenient. While in college I had a friend who was in a relationship with a Restaurant and Coffee Shop owner and used to take friends there and we never had to pay a dime for all the fantastic dishes we ate there. Once the college was over the relationship broke up. Some other reasons can be that the person has a swimming pool, car etc which can be used or borrowed.
I am not telling that some people who start their relationship on the right note do not fail in their relationship or does not fall out of love, but the chances of relationships break down are more in the case of those getting married for the wrong reasons. Have you ever liked someone or got into a relationship just for the sake of it for any of the above reasons? Are there any other reasons you would like to add to the list above? Feel free to add them through your comments.
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