This Question has been posed during a few discussions in the past few weeks here at S.O.S. and I have decided to tackle it head on this Sunday When I fill in For Master Kaddan during her Ying and Yang Discussion Group meeting at A.O.S. at 1:00 slt on June 23rd, 2013
As we all know some topics are very touchy and this certainly will be one of those. This particular topic is particularly hard for the M/D type in our lifestyle in all I have read and comments I hear when it is discussed. Allowing our submissives and/or slaves serve, play, or scene with another is defiantly not something we would consider under normal circumstances. I would however pose to the reader that these types of dynamics not only exist but can be done and be a very healthy thing for all parties involved. But it is one of the most difficult dynamics to maintain as there are many more things to consider and a level of communication that I personally feel the majority of people have not the maturity or patience to maintain.
One scenario is that we see this dynamic in is the swinging community. These fun loving people (usually couples) swap partners during play parties and communal get togethers or allow the slave or sub to engage in sexual play on a regular basis with others. This is by far the most common time we see one M/D type allowing another M/D type to Dom or Top their Sub or Slave during a multitude of scenarios. I would pose that this is not really serving two Masters as the primary M/D in this scenario is controlling the who, what, when, where, etc. of the scenario. Therefore no T.P.E. happening with the second M/D. At this time I would like to clarify that this is a broad stroke and there are always exceptions to these statements and I am speaking in generalities.
Another scenario is that the M/D in the dynamic is physically unable to be in the same room due to it being a online separated by distance and for what ever reason the two cannot be physically together. In this case the M/D may allow the sub/slave to scene with but not be collared to another M/D. This is not very common as us M/D types with do almost anything to avoid this as it is very difficult to have the total control over the scene that the first scenario would have as we cannot be there physically to insure the safety and content of the scene. Also if this were to be allowed it requires even more open communication and trust than the first scenario requires. Also a built in risk to the sub/slave is magnified here.
Then we have the M/D type that is disabled and due to the nature of that disability they again are unable to physically touch, bind, or be a physical presence for their sub or slave. The people in this scenario are most likely in my opinion the most purely unselfish I have read about and talked to. They come from a place of understanding and compassion for each other in a way few will ever experience. But again even in this case the M/D type has the control and decides the who, what, when, where etc. So I would again pose that this is not serving two Masters. No T.P.E. is happening between the s-type and the M/D type that is allowed to scene with the s-type in this scenario.
Now we come to the inexperienced M/D type that may under again a controlled setting allow another M/D type to act as a professional/expert teacher or guide and use the sub or slave as the one the experienced M/D uses to teach the inexperienced one how to perform various techniques of B/D and S/M. This is a common thing that does happen more than many would like to admit because it it usually a training scene and not a play scene and is kept very private. In my opinion still this is not severing two Masters as no T.P.E. is occurring. My personal opinion is this is not a bad thing but I do feel it is better for the M/D to experience these things for them selves to fully understand what it means to submit and have these techniques used on themselves. It will give the M/D type a deeper level of what power they have and the potential dangers of many of the techniques used in all these scenarios.
And now we come to the one that is I feel the rarest of the occasions. The two M/D household or dynamic. Takes a hugs breath here as i don't personally think I could do this however there are a few very loving and caring dynamics out there that so engage in this. This is by far the most difficult. The parties that have this in their dynamic at all times must have total transparency with one another and set in stone ground rules that far exceed in my opinion any of the other scenarios I have brought up so far. Can you imagine the confusion and trouble a sub/slave could get into in this dynamic? The stepping on toes the two M/D types must avoid? The communication level and maturity of the parties in this dynamic must be the number one rule and adhered to at every turn for this to work. I have found through a lot of reading that in these dynamics, although not always the case, one or more of the M/D types are switches and or the sub or slave is. Or more common one of the M/D types is the one in charge and is the one in a T.P.E. with the sub or slave and the second M/D defers to the first as the one who has final say in all things that may arise and follows the protocols that are set by them. Again this may not be the only way this dynamic is structured, but these are the most common I have found. And this by far is the most difficult to maintain from all I have read.
Now lastly we come to the sub or slave that is married or in a vanilla relationship but has a M/D that is separate from their white picket fence life with the proverbial 2.5 kids mini van etc. or the professional that submits to a M/D after work but does not live it 24/7 with the one in their primary relationship. These are very common but mostly hidden from anyone's view and often hidden from the primary relationship for a multitude of reasons. These dynamics can range from healthy to destructive.
In my opinion and in my house my relations ships may never be hidden completely from any other person my subs or slaves are involved with intimately. They must be honest that a relationship that is intimate is occurring but may withhold the details only for the purpose of not making the other party feel they are incapable or providing what the s-type needs. I actually encourage my subs and slaves that are in internet dynamics with me to seek real life partners to fulfill their lives. I have actual found this makes our dynamics stronger. Again this is my approach and I know many will not agree and could never do that with their subs and slaves but my approach is I am not my sub/slaves boyfriend or their husband I am their Master.
There are many other situations where a sub/slave may find themselves in the position where they may be instructed to serve another M/D but in all of the ones I read about they are not in a T.P.E. with the other M/D. The primary M/D always is in control of the who, what, when, where etc. An example of this is our very own alisha... she serves all of us at S.O.S but her Master controls the perimeters of that service and she is actually serving him when she provides her time guidance and advice. So she is not serving two Masters. We will cover many more examples of this in the lecture on Sunday.
In closing I would only caution that we all must be mindful that these dynamics exist and can work but take a huge amount of commitment and require even more patience and a unique approach to life and what it takes to keep a relationship healthy. If you find yourself endeavoring to indulge in any of these please go in with your eyes wide open and understand the level of maturity all involved must have. If any are lacking in this I would urge you to rethink it. And above all be safe, sane, and be sure that all consent to whatever the perimeters of your dynamic is. Your right to stay and your right to go never ends.
By
Master Merlin Swordthain
Readers may use for educational purposes only. Please give credit to the author. Thank you.
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